I suck at this whole 2 blog thing.
I love my live journal for my silly-sillyness and all that which is crazy fangirlie-ness but I've noticed that I have started to leak my "normal" day stuff in it as well.
So I already wrote in mu lj that I'm going on a trip....But I might as well so it here too.
So I'm getting ready to leave with April, Mallory and Natalie for Las Vegas for the next few days.
Nothing but relaxing and girl time and yeah for the me.
No work, no school, no family, no pets.
Don't get me wrong.
I love my dog.
She is my everything.
But to have a few days where I don't have to worry about about taking care of her is nice.
It's like having a child.
She needs fed, played with, groomed, taken to the bathroom, taught good behaviors...
So a little break is going to be nice.
I know that I'll be missing her after 1 day though.
That''s what you get for taking care of another creature for 7 years.
Anyway off to get a drink of water.
Very thirsty all of a sudden.
Will post pictures of things from the past couple weeks and the Vegas trip later.
So today I watched my friend Heather's 1 1/2 year old daughter Rebecca.
She is so cute.
But after spending about 12 hours with her I was all like "Maybe I could be a mom someday?"
Now that I have voiced this thought I am scared that I was even able to allow my brain to process it.
It's not like I'm feeling my biological clock ticking or anything.
I still find reproduction very narcissistic but I'm also starting to understand why someone would want to.
However I don't think I could talk about it without feeling like a complete fool.
BTW, I am once again in a foul mood.
So I spent he night over at my Mom's place the other night.
It was mostly good.
For some reason I found myself thinking of moving back in with them. 
It was strange and now I'm in the biggest crappiest funk I've had in a long time
I'm really confused about everything right now.
I really have no idea what direction to take with my life. Because being my awesome self isn;t going to do much in the way of making money and living the way I would like to.
Everything just really really really SUCKS in this moment.
I'm just so not in the mood to be an adult.
Being an adult is boring.
Maybe I can pretend for a few more years...
But that would require getting a real job or moving in with my family.
Neither are an option I want to choose from.
So my mom just booked a hotel room at the Rio for me and my friends that can go.
It's free.
Pretty cool huh.
I'm not really the Vegas type but if it's free and if my friends are there then that's cool.
If they can't go then it'll just be a trip for me and my mom.
All I need is money for food.
Please be able to go guys!!!
I have a total and complete fear of what people think about things I produce,
From and English paper to a drawing I do. I am super afraid of what someone has to say about it.
Knowing this,,,,,,,why on Earth did I make and post icons onto the 4 different communities on Livejournal?
I have to be some kinda masochist because now when I see I have a message in my inbox I get that sick feeling in the middle of my stomach.
Stupid me.
I fail at....at... well at trying to be somewhat socially involved or creating something that might be somewhat acceptable.
